Boredom Is Good For You

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." This quote by Dorothy Parker says a mouthful. And it explains why our society is becoming increasingly uncurious and apathetic. We are never bored. But boredom is good for you. It’s good for your children. Your schedule should allow time, every day, for Strategic Boredom. Why? Read on!

But first, my definition of Strategic Boredom. Strategic Boredom consists in wise parents giving their children times when there is nothing pre-arranged to entertain them, including mindless, pre-fab, technological distractions.

And now for the reasons for Strategic Boredom!

Being bored forces us to think. When we are truly bored, whatever is going on around us doesn’t hold our interest. Our thoughts fly off to other things. This leads to daydreaming, planning, musing, in short – to actually using our brains. When we are fully entertained or distracted and have every minute filled with planned activities, there is little time for in-depth thinking.

Being bored gives us time to hear God. The Bible tells us that we must “be still” to hear God, that His is a “still, small voice.” When we are busy all the time, racing from one activity to another, it is tough to hear God above the cacophony. There’s a reason that Bible study time is also called “quiet time.” We must have time with no distractions to truly hear His voice.

Being bored engenders creativity. Most people hate boredom. Even lazy people still want to be entertained. So boredom causes people to find some entertainment – and this often leads to creativity! If a child has no TV, internet, video games or smartphones to play with, he has to come up with his own entertainment. Thus (after the obligatory whining which you should pleasantly and firmly cut off) he must turn to books, projects, games, something of his own invention to occupy him. Children today (even homeschooled children) very rarely have time for developing creativity because their parents never let them get bored.

Being bored creates initiative. If you allow your child to be bored occasionally instead of constantly entertaining him, he will have to come up with ideas for entertainment all by himself. Of course, a wise parent will have provided items in the house that he can latch onto for entertainment (such a books, raw materials for crafts, sports equipment, etc.). But it is up to the child to decide himself what to do about his boredom. I am often saddened by watching today’s children (even homeschooled children) when confronted with a chance to take initiative. They often simply sit back and wait for someone to tell them what to do – because that’s all they know. They have never had to exert their ingenuity to occupy their time.

Boredom can lead to fun and fascinating hobbies. During the Strategic Boredom times planned in our childhood by our wise parents, my sister and I started digging into the how-to books on the shelf. One time, we pulled out a book on crocheting. Mom had already given us yarn and taught us some basic stitches. But it was during periods of Strategic Boredom that we actually got enthused about crocheting real projects. This led to us attempting more and more complex crocheting projects as we grew older. And finally, it led to us winning “Best of Show” ribbons at one of the largest American county fairs for our crocheting! We can tell similar stories about our other many hobbies and skills (including skills we now use to support ourselves). Most of them were developed during Strategic Boredom times in our childhood.

Boredom prepares you for real life. Is there an adult in the world today who never experiences boredom? I doubt it. Perhaps it’s a routine chore every day that gets boring, or a task at work that becomes tedious. Maybe it’s a dull evening at home, or a long commute to work. Whatever the case, boredom is unavoidable and happens to everyone.

A person who has been prepared in childhood to deal properly with boredom is much safer from temptations that the person who has been constantly entertained faces. He will be less likely to give in to time-wasters like TV and endless video games or damaging activities like online porn or shopping addictions. The children trained by Strategic Boredom will have well-developed character muscles that help them take initiative, think, be creative, try new things… or simply sit still and listen to God’s voice.

But it all starts with Strategic Boredom!

Written by Heather Sheen

Itsy Bitsy Spider Crawled Up the Literature Page

As a kid, one of my favorite subjects in school was literature, partly because it was easier than algebra and partly because it was all about reading stories! However, I usually got extremely fed up with the questions at the end of each story, questions that I was presumably supposed to answer in my best scholarly manner. 

Wasn’t there a more interesting way to study literature?

Literature questions usually fell into several categories. First, there were the “duh” questions. If, hypothetically, the story had been about an itsy bitsy spider who crawled up the water spout, the “duh” question might be, “What did the itsy bitsy spider crawl up?” This sort of question, while posing as a Vastly Erudite Tool of Learning, is really just a crafty way to find out if the student actually read the story. If, for instance, I answered the question by saying that the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the straw of my frappuccino, my mother would instantly suspect something.

Then there were the “why” questions. I didn’t like those either because usually the story did not give you enough data, but expected a Highly Insightful Answer. If you were asked why the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout, you were expected to say something like, “The itsy bitsy spider was the victim of a debilitating psychiatric disorder, and due to its failure to grasp its inner sense of self and discover who it really was, it found an outlet for its internal angst by exploring new paradigms outside of its natural habitat. Therefore, unlike its peers, who were crawling around in people’s bathroom showers and scaring them half to death, this spider sought out lonely secluded spots wherein it could sort out its past without being judged and thus chose the privacy of a water spout.” Unfortunately, there is one small problem with all this. Yes, yes, one tiny infinitesimal problem: we actually don’t KNOW why the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout. Therefore, any reason we assign is pure speculation. And what’s the point of that? However, literature books are crammed full of these sorts of unanswerable speculative questions, which can be very exasperating.

And, of course, there were the “what-if” questions. What if the itsy bitsy spider hadn’t crawled up the water spout? What if the rain hadn’t washed the poor little spider out? What if the sun hadn’t come out and dried up all the rain? These kinds of questions can sound reasonably deep, but at the end of the day, they too are mere speculation. If the goal of literature is simply for students to speculate about how the story might have been different if all the pertinent facts and characters were different, why don’t we just start from scratch and ask them to write their own story?

Lastly, there are the “lessons learned” questions that give the student a chance to moralize. For instance, did the foolish spider learn his lesson about water spouts the first time? The sharp-witted student is quick to pick up on the expected answer: Alas no, as soon as the sun came out, he was right back up that spout. And like the spider, we too tend to forget consequences and make unwise mistakes when things are going right. We can all benefit from studying the hapless example of the errant arachnid. These kinds of questions aren’t too bad, but the answers are typically rather obvious and don’t require a lot of analysis.

So, you ask, since I have now thoroughly lambasted the traditional approach to literature, do I have any better ideas? Ha! Of course!

Remember, the goal of literature is to make a child think about it, analyze it, learn from it, and enjoy it, right? Well, the works I benefited from the most were not the ones where I was spoon-fed the canned types of questions listed above. Instead, they were the ones where I was told to simply write a paper about the book. The paper had only one criteria: state a thesis and support it. In other words, make a point and support that point from the story. Suddenly I had to do ALL of my own thinking. I confess I didn’t like it much at first. It was open-ended! There were no tidy instructions to follow! I could write about anything? I could make any point I wanted? Yikes! Let’s see...should I write about how the spider was indefatigable and persevered despite being rained out the first time? Should I argue that spiders have no business crawling up water spouts and he deserved what he got? Should I write about how we face trials in life, but joy comes in the morning, similar to the way the sun came out and dried up the rain?

However, once I wrapped my mind around this concept, I began to enjoy it. Not only that, I actually began to think about the story and all kinds of questions about the book popped up in my mind. Was part of the story relevant to my life? If so, how? Was there a principle that was clearly displayed in the story that I could write about? Did the author do a good job of getting his point across? How did this story compare to another similar story? Were the characters good role models? What was the story’s worldview? I could work through these questions and then choose one to write about. And guess what? By the time I was finished with the paper, I had gotten far more out of the story than I would have if I’d answered the standard literature book questions.

“Now wait,” you say. “This isn’t practical. I can’t make my kids write a paper about every single literature assignment.” Why not? Not every paper has to be a long one. It could be just a few paragraphs.  Even just a few original paragraphs that a student reasons out on his own will usually make him think more than if he simply answers a few boring, speculative questions. Maybe your child isn’t much of a writer. Good, this approach can help him become one! You can now combine literature and writing assignments!

Of course, another good option is to discuss the story aloud together. We did this frequently when I was growing up as well. Bouncing opinions about books, authors, and plots off of each other helped my sister and I to learn to really think about what we were reading. We could critique and share ideas and conclusively prove that spiders have no business being within twenty yards of MY waterspouts, thankyouverymuch!

Bottom line: feel free to be creative. If your children complain about the questions they are supposed to answer with a literature assignment, tune in. See if the questions are inane. If they are, skip them. Have your children write their own thoughts and make their own points. Talk about the stories. Help them learn to think about what they're reading. 

And watch out for those spiders in the waterspouts!

Written by Raquelle Sheen

Handing Out Snakes

“Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”  (Matthew 7:9-11)

I once read a supposedly amusing account of a mother whose young son left the house one morning to catch the school bus.  But he returned after a couple minutes and in a discouraged voice told her that school was boring and he hated it and wanted to stay home.  Her reply was something along the lines of, "Life’s tough.  Get on the bus."

I didn't find that story funny.

Not that I think children should be allowed to dictate what they want to do for the day.  But there are often occasions when children ask for "bread" or "fish" and we are guilty of handing out a "stone" or a "snake" instead.  Are we being thoughtless — or maybe just too busy to find out what the real problem is?

Children love to manipulate their parents (of course, we adults never manipulate people, do we?!) so it is often easy to dismiss their complaints as just that: complaints.  But sometimes a child is honestly trying to tell you that there is a problem.  He simply can’t articulate it better than to say something is "boring" or "stupid" or he "hates it."  In that case, it might be wise to inquire further, rather than simply say, "Life’s tough.  Do it anyway." 

“Why is math boring, Johnny?”

“’Cuz I already know this stuff!  I’m tired of fractions!”

“Alright, Johnny, let’s skip to the test at the end of the chapter on fractions.  If you can do all the problems, we’ll skip the rest of fractions and go on to decimals.”

“Sally, we don’t say ‘hate’ in this house.  Why don’t you rephrase that?”

“I don’t like piano lessons.”

“Why not?’

“I’ve been playing the same dumb song for weeks!  The teacher makes me do it over again every week and it’s so silly!”

“Well, Sally, let’s have a talk with your teacher and ask her to give you some different songs to work on.  But I’ll expect you to go back to practicing harder if we do that.”

It is easy to have a paradigm of how things should be — and make our children follow the paradigm whether it makes sense or not.  We need to ask ourselves questions like, “Why are we doing this?”  “Is there a better way to accomplish our goals?”

Are we finishing every problem in the math chapter just because we feel we must, regardless of whether Johnny needs all those extra problems?  Remember, the math book authors don’t know Johnny’s individual needs — you do. You can customize his education accordingly.  Are we having 9-year-old Susie do written book reports because that’s the way book reports should be?  Maybe oral reports would be less daunting and more fun until her writing skills improve — after all, at this point the important thing is that she read the book and can tell you about it.

Sometimes the “snakes” we hand out have a more simple explanation — our culture is so busy that we rarely slow down to find out what Johnny or Susie actually need.  Who has time in between piano, dance, soccer, co-op and church activities to find out if Jimmy’s problems with reading are due to bad eyesight or bad attitude?  ‘Oh well, never mind, we’ll just keep giving him reading assignments and hope he gets it.”

We need to make sure we are making time to give "good gifts" to our children — gifts of focused time and attention and response to their needs.  Let’s make sure we are handing out bread and fish, not stones and snakes!

Written by Heather Sheen

How To Seek Approval

If there’s one thing that parents, teachers and child workers drum into kids’ heads more than another, it’s that they should not be addicted to peer approval.

“Don’t follow the crowd in doing wrong.”
“Just because your friends are doing it doesn’t mean you should do it.”
“Go against the flow.”
“Stand your ground.”

It’s good to teach your children to stick to the right principles, regardless of whether their peers are doing so. But I would like to address a common misconception that goes along with this. I want to challenge the assumption that seeking approval from others is bad.

I’ve actually heard people say this: “You shouldn’t need the approval of others.” I disagree. I think that God made us to need approval, to need outside validation of our actions. The problem is not with needing this validation – the problem is that we seek the validation from the wrong people.

We need to create an “approval network” around us that will give us acceptance and encouragement in godly living.

We are first and foremost created to need the approval of God. God created us to be in fellowship with Him, and we find our true satisfaction and fulfillment in life when we know we have His approval. Of course, we can’t earn that approval on our own because we are sinful. That’s why the gift of Jesus’ atonement on the cross is so valuable. When we accept Christ’s atonement, our sins are forgiven and canceled out but even more, we can be brought into sweet fellowship with our Creator once again. As we daily try to live as the Bible teaches, we find our lives full of the strength of character that comes from knowing God has accepted us. After all, when God is for us, what can it matter who is against us? (see Romans 8) God must be the primary Person in our “approval network.”

But God also created us to enjoy fellowship with other people. The only thing that God said was “not good” about creation in the Genesis account was that Adam was “alone.” And God remedied the problem by providing Adam with another person to fellowship with: Eve. He told Adam and Eve to procreate and bring more people into the world. We are created for friendship with others.

Knowing this, we must choose wisely when we form the friendships that will fill in our earthly “approval network.” Think about the people you value and respect, the ones you seek out for fun outings, the ones you can relax around. Are they the kind of people who will validate and approve your wise choices? Will they have the courage to question you when you make unwise choices? Are their own life choices ones that show character and wisdom? Since our close friends are the people we naturally seek acceptance from, we should choose friends that will support us in living right.

This is why it is important to be in a good church body. I know that some people feel that there’s no point in attending weekly church services. But a good church body can be part of your approval network. They can be part of the team that cheers you on to live biblically, and they can also help pull you back from making unwise choices. If there is no church body in your life providing an approval network, this leaves a vacuum that is often filled by more worldly friends.

Homeschooling is a good way to help your children build the right approval network. It’s tough for an adult to have the strength of character to go against the flow of everyone around him, every day. It’s even harder for a child or teen to do so. We are not created to function well when we’re constantly fighting against the current of every person we’re around all day. That’s stressful, emotionally tiring, and wearying. There are times in life when this can happen and God gives us extra grace for those times. But it’s not a situation one should seek out.

Homeschooling surrounds your children with your handpicked approval network as they learn to make godly choices in life. God says that foolishness comes naturally to children (Proverbs 22:15). When your child’s closest friends are immature kids at school, they can be a drag on his or her desire to live biblically. Your child will find himself either constantly fighting his God-given desire for peer approval, or he will give in and be as foolish as his fellow peers at school. Neither choice is healthy.

It is much easier to “go against the flow” of worldliness in our culture when we have a godly team cheering us on. A family and a church body provide that team. Instead of teaching our children that seeking outside acceptance is bad, teach them to seek it from the right places. Their approval network should first be God and next be wise people who will cheer them on to do the right thing.

Written by Heather Sheen

The Value of Your Counsel

I recently heard this statement by the mother of a 16 year old. “I am so glad my daughter decided to break up with her boyfriend. He was really bad news, but I wanted it to be her decision. I feel proud of myself for staying out of it and letting her decide for herself.”

Since the story ended happily, this mother was pleased with herself and her daughter. I, on the other hand, have felt concern for both of them ever since. Why? Because I wonder why that mother felt that it was best to avoid giving input to her daughter in such a serious matter.

I see this approach in many families. Parents feel that in order for their children to “grow up” they must experience decision-making for themselves. This is true. But rarely will any adult make a serious decision without getting some input or advice. So why should your child be left without your input?

Would you buy a car without asking for recommendations or looking up model reviews online? Would you move to a new area without first asking friends, co-workers or realtors in the area about it?

For that matter, don’t many of us ask for input on simply buying clothes? (“Does this make me look fat?”) How many of us look up a recipe blog online before trying a new dish?

There is no inherent value in letting your kids make serious decisions with no input from you. The Bible is full of references to the value of wise counsel, a parent’s advice in particular. God made you a counselor in your child’s life for a reason.

If you’re still hesitating about giving input, let’s look at some of the reasons why you may be holding back.

You don't think your view is valid. Our culture tells us that wisdom comes from youth, rather than adults. But that’s not a biblical view, nor is it a common sense view. Young people may know more than the older generation about how to use a smart phone, but they do not have the life experience that age brings. Your view as a parent and an older person is always helpful and valid.

You think it's more important that they express themselves than that they follow your advice. If this is true for certain situations, they can still be helped by receiving your viewpoint. For instance, “Julie, I think you look more mature in the red sweater, but I know blue is your favorite color. Choose the one you want - I want you to enjoy how you look.” Now Julie can decide if she wants to go with her favorite color or rely on her mother’s advice on how to look more mature.

However, parents should be careful to weigh whether an issue can be left totally up to the child. The color of a sweater is non-life-changing. However, the choice of a boyfriend, or a college, or a job can make a large difference in a child’s life. You can help your child create wise parameters within which he or she can safely express himself.

You want to avoid conflict with your child. Sometimes it’s tiring having to argue with your child. Sometimes it seems not worth the effort to explain – again – why they should keep their room clean, not stay out past curfew, or practice for music lessons. But then again, that’s what parenting is about: training the foolishness out of young people. Sometimes that creates conflict.

Conflict may be occurring not because you disagree with them, but because of how you disagree. Kindness and a desire to educate rather than dictate will go a long way towards helping your child see your viewpoint. However, a wise parent will not shy away from giving counsel simply because it may create dissension.

You can't figure out how to articulate your views. Sometimes you know in your gut that you are right, but can’t figure out how to explain it to your argumentative child. Your “gut” is based on years of experience. Don’t let an immature, willful child make you afraid to confront them about foolishness.

I am reminded of a friend who felt “in her gut” that her teenaged daughter’s peers were having a bad influence on her. But since she couldn’t put her finger on the exact problem, she let things slide. Her daughter eventually ran away with those peers and wound up in an emergency room. If her mother had trusted her own God-given instincts, she may have been able to prevent much heartache.

The Bible tells us that, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed (Proverbs 15:22).” God has divinely appointed you to be the primary counselor in your child’s life. Don’t abdicate. Help him succeed in his plans – and in life – by offering godly counsel.

Written by Heather Sheen

An Early Midlife Crisis

It’s not uncommon for young people to have a “midlife crisis” twenty years too early. Sometimes when you hit your early or mid twenties, it feels like you are still searching to find your niche, while your peers appear to have it all together and know exactly what they are doing. In some ways I think this affects homeschool graduates in a unique way because our lifestyles are often different from the norm.

My sister and I were homeschooled back in the day when homeschooling was weird and suspicious and even illegal in some states. (This gives us Ancient Veteran status and goes to our heads.) However, even though homeschooling was weird, it was okay to be weird. Our lives were at least predictable. When you finished your sophomore year, you started your junior one. When you finished your junior year, you started your senior one. Questions from others about the future were shallow and polite and didn’t weigh heavily on our radar screen.  

However, after graduation, my sister and I, like many homeschool grads, opted for non-traditional paths towards higher education. Some grads choose to postpone college for a year or more while they start a home business, which is something my sister and I did. Some people choose to take college classes part-time via distance education, which my sister and I also did. Some people work part time and attend school only part time, which I did for my master’s degree. Some choose to go right to their chosen field and skip college altogether by choosing an apprenticeship path. And some grads simply want to take a few years to experiment with their strengths and weaknesses and mature a little before making formal decisions about their future path. None of these options fit the paradigm of going to college for four years immediately after graduation and instantly getting a high-paying job in your chosen field.

In other words, your post-highschool future as a homeschool grad may seem a little freaky to others. Your life might not be tidy. It might be unconventional. It’s popular nowadays to prattle about the value of  “following your dreams,” or “listening to your heart,” or “daring to be different,” or “dancing to the beat of your own drum.” However, if you actually try any of that and go against traditional societal norms, people may think you’re a fruitcake. And while we can usually handle other people thinking we are fruitcakes, sometimes we can become discouraged by self-doubt and our own uncertainty. Are we just floundering? Should we be doing something more... “official”? More traditional? More focused? Are we just spinning our wheels and wasting our time and talents? Does everyone in the whole world have it all together except us? Before we know it, we’re smack dab in the middle of a midlife crisis.

How do we handle an early midlife crisis about our future?

First, remember the following verse: For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10) We may still be sorting out our plans for the future, but we don’t have to stress out about it. God has planned out opportunities for us before we were even born. We should seek God’s direction, but meanwhile do what is at hand to do and trust God that if He wants you to be doing a different set of good works, He’ll direct you to them. He prepared them in advance for you and if you’re bent on following Him, He’s not going to stand by and let you accidentally wander off into a bunch of useless junk that benefits no one.

Second, remember that societal norms are not somehow God’s standard for our lives. We may or may not fit societal norms. Honestly, they’re irrelevant. We may always be the odd duck. In fact, we probably will be. The majority of my life has been outside the traditional route. I used to think fondly of the time when I would finally have an “explainable” life to outsiders and have finally concluded that it will probably never come. So be it. What matters is if we are pleasing the Lord, not whether we’re fitting in with everybody else. It may be a lonely road. In fact, you can probably count on it. But it doesn’t matter. The path of obedience is frequently lonely. It can be a good sign, actually.

Third, success is ultimately not measured by the size of our bank account or the string of credentials after our name. Obedience and love are the foremost measures of success. But as Christians, even more important than our success is the fact that God loves us and we are His children. It isn’t about us, it’s about Him. He doesn’t love us because of our good deeds or because of what we can do for His kingdom. He loves us because He loves us, the end, kthxbye (translation, “Okay, thanks, bye.”) We don’t have to earn His favor or His love any more than we have to earn our parents’ love. They love us intrinsically because they’re our parents and we’re their kids, not because of what we DO.

Fourth, don’t listen to gloomy thoughts very much. If self-doubt pops up, pray earnestly for wisdom, purpose, and direction, but don’t make a habit of giving credibility to doleful feelings. They will always, categorically, world-without-endedly, make you feel more doleful. I have never yet had a hand-wringing “I’m a failure” session that made me feel less like a failure. I have had many that made me feel worse.

Lastly, while they are bad masters, sometimes feelings of discouragement and self-doubt can be used by the Lord to cause us to reevaluate what we’re doing and where we’re going. Sometimes the Lord uses periods of frustration in our lives to spur us to new heights and new adventures. But those new heights and adventures don’t have to look like other people’s heights and adventures and they probably won’t. I highly recommend reading the book Start, by John Acuff. It gives helpful guidance and encouragement on what to do next in life. Remember that God can and does steer moving trucks. He is perhaps less likely to move an impassive hunk of granite, although He just might give a hearty nudge to the granite too. I love that fact that God is bigger than our fears, passivity, and inertia.

Don’t let an early midlife crisis bring you down. It’s okay to be different. Yes really, it is!

Written by Raquelle Sheen

How to Train An Alien

Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring in some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility—young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians. Daniel 1:3-4

Daniel is one of my favorite biblical characters. Taken prisoner by a pagan nation as a teenager, he nonetheless stayed true to God throughout his whole life. And God used him powerfully in the Babylonian nation. The first story of his impact for God occurred when he was about 15 and the final story of his godly life happened in his 80s. He was truly an example of someone who fought the good fight and finished the race.

Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, though, is what happened before the first chapter of Daniel. The story picks up when he is about 15. But we see in Daniel 1 that he is already a godly, courageous young man. What happened to make him so?

We don’t know if he was raised by his parents, or if they were dead and he was raised by other family. We don’t know how much of his instruction he got from his mom and dad, and how much he got from a tutor or temple priests. Since his family was of the nobility, they probably had enough money to provide the best of teachers for him. Regardless of who brought him up, what we know for sure is what he learned from his upbringing. And since he is one of the few biblical characters about whom nothing bad was written, it’s safe to take him for a model of what to aim for in your child’s education.

Like Daniel, your children will be “aliens” in the world, facing a pagan and hostile environment when they graduate. The anti-God voices in our culture are daily becoming louder and more vehement against Christianity. If we want our children to stand strong for the Lord like Daniel did, it would help us to take some lessons from Daniel’s education.

1. He Had Biblical Theology. We find Daniel’s theological point of view in the very first paragraph of the book. Daniel didn’t say that Nebuchadnezzer conquered Israelite King Jehoiakim. Instead he said that God delivered Jehoiakim into Nebuchadnezzer’s hand. This might seem like a trifling change of wording, but it has huge implications. Daniel didn’t believe that he and his nation were taken into captivity merely by chance, or the fortunes of war. He believed that God planned and ordained their captivity for His own purposes.

When I came to grips with the fact that God is not only able to control all things, but actually does control all things for His glory and our good, it changed my life. This is the first and most important thing a parent can teach His child. This is what separates a thoroughly Christian education from a pagan education. God exists and ordains all things for His glory. If we take away this belief, we are left with a worldview that is based on chance and chaos.

Not only did Daniel believe God ordained Israel’s captivity, he doubtless knew exactly why God had brought it about: Israel’s sin. Daniel’s intimate acquaintance with the law and prophets (which is seen in the rest of the book of Daniel) assured that he knew God had promised exactly these consequences time and time again when warning the nation to turn from sin. Unless we believe there is a God who judges sin, we will never fully learn personal responsibility. Unless we believe that God loves us enough to discipline us into righteousness, we will never fully feel the need to submit to God and be saved from our sins.

If your child learns nothing else in his education, he must learn these theological truths. They have eternal consequences that cannot be avoided.

2. He Showed Aptitude for Learning. Aptitude is based partly on ability and partly on attitude. Ability is something that is different for every child. Some children have more ability to learn math, others have more ability in the area of music and art, and so on. But every child can be trained to have a good attitude about learning. The Bible tells us that children are born foolish and it’s the parents’ job to train this foolishness out of them. One aspect of foolishness is an unwillingness to learn.

Those who brought up Daniel trained him to have a cheerful desire for knowledge. Not only did he demonstrate a willingness to learn both his own and his captors’ cultural wisdom, he showed throughout his life a willingness to learn from God. Learning requires humility because you must first admit you do not know before you can strive to know.

A desire to learn is the foundation of all educational success. Regardless of how thorough your child’s education is (or is not) and whether he has “gaps” in subjects that were poorly taught, he can succeed in life if he has been taught to love learning. He will be able to repair those “gaps” himself through further self-education.

Teach your children to love wisdom and knowledge, and give them the tools to pursue these things. Require them to develop the discipline necessary for thoroughly investigating a subject.

3. He Respected Those in Command. Daniel had every reason to disrespect, distrust and even hate those in authority over him. They had ripped him out of his family and homeland, taken him to a foreign country, and put him in a brainwashing program to make him into a Babylonian. The culture around him was pagan and he could have felt every right to resist anything the Babylonians commanded him to do.

But instead, Daniel showed respect and tact towards those in authority. He wasn’t a rebel or a crusader. He worked within the chain of command to make his requests and he tactfully offered solutions that would allow his commanders to save face while giving him what he asked for. This is an incredibly valuable skill, and it’s especially amazing in a young man of 15. God had obviously given Daniel an extra share of wisdom to deal with his situation, but much credit should also go to those who brought him up to show such tact and thoughtfulness.

This is another aspect of training the foolishness out of children which parents would do well to heed. Even a brilliant person will not get very far if he can’t submit to authority, work with the system, and be tactful and thoughtful to those around him or her. Work with your children to teach them to submit – not with clenched teeth, unwillingly, but with sincere respect and understanding towards those in authority. As “aliens” in this world, we will always face opposition to godliness. But nowhere in Scripture do we see that as a justification for disrespect, rudeness or obstructionism towards those in authority.

4. He Had Courage. It’s not enough to have convictions. You must be willing to act on them, even when it’s hard. The Bible tells us that faith without deeds is useless. Daniel certainly had the hardest of situations. His literally put his life on the line by disobeying the orders of the king.

Not only that, but we can guess that he may have been under pressure from his fellow Israelite captives. “Don’t rock the boat, Daniel, you want to get all of us in trouble?” I can imagine that his less courageous comrades may have tried to squelch his convictions out of fear for their own safety. Opposition from friends can be an even harder trial to bear than opposition from an enemy.  But Daniel stood firm and God blessed him for it.

One way parents can teach this type of courage is by example. Often we avoid making courageous stands because of the fear of “what if?” But if your children see you making principled stands by faith, and then see how God upholds you, they will be emboldened themselves to stand for Christ. The “what if?” question will be answered by their personal observation of God’s protection and blessing on you.

How many of us have been encouraged by the example of others? Hebrews 11 lists a “great cloud of witnesses” to encourage us. Be another in this cloud of witnesses for your child by standing for God’s truth.

5. He Chose Godly Friends. Though Daniel would certainly have had associations with his fellow Israelite captives, as well as Babylonian young men in the king’s court, his closest friends were Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah (better known in history as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego of fiery furnace fame). And I think it is no coincidence that the friends he chose were the ones who stood with him against the paganism of Babylon.

Daniel knew he was facing a ruthless conqueror who had no compunction in trying to force him to give up his religion, his morals and his ideals. He knew he was facing an intensive brainwashing course designed to saturate him with a pagan culture. He therefore showed great wisdom in surrounding himself with friends who would stand with him and encourage him to do right.

It is extremely hard to go it alone. The Bible tells us that two are better than one, and three are even better than that. It’s never too early to teach your children to value godly friendships. Starting with their own family and then adding friends from church and other activities, help them learn to discern what kind of people will encourage them in godliness. Help them analyze whether a friend is building them up in righteousness or pulling them in the wrong direction.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I’d like to point out one of the most encouraging lessons we can learn from Daniel’s story. Consider that Daniel was in his mid-teens when he was taken to Babylon. Even by the standards of the day, he was only barely an adult. I don’t know what his parents and family felt when he was taken away, but I imagine there was much anxiety for his safety and his future spiritual condition. They may have felt that their educational work was unfinished or imperfect. They may have worried about whether they had adequately prepared him for the coming battle against paganism.

But God took the educational foundation Daniel had been given and used it mightily in Daniel’s life. One of the most godly men in the Bible, Daniel also became one of the most powerful aliens on earth as a high minister in the Babylonian king’s court.

When parents do their best and ask for God’s wisdom to train their children, God will honor those efforts through His blessing. No matter how imperfect your child’s educational experience is, God can work through your faith to bring great things into your child’s life. The story of Daniel, to me, is one of the greatest challenges to parents – and one of the greatest encouragements.