Should Children Be Our Evangelists?

But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. (Matthew 18:6)

These are pretty strong words from Jesus about causing children to sin. Some people interpret this verse to mean actual children, and others say it means those who are children in the faith – new believers. Either way, I think we would all agree that purposely placing such vulnerable people in the path of sin is a wrong thing to do.

But I wonder if we don’t slip up in this area without realizing it? I considered this subject one Sunday as the pastor was preaching about staying true to the faith. He mentioned that children especially are in the “danger zone” at school. Most of their peers are either non-Christians or immature Christians who are hardly the best people to encourage someone in their walk of faith. Those peers are more likely to discourage the Christian child from following Christ. Have you ever heard a gaggle of kids or teens talking and then one of them say, “Hey, we should stop talking like this. It’s gossip and it’s not right.” Or how about this scenario – “Wait guys, we shouldn’t do that because our parents told us not to and we should respect our parents.” Sounds a little unlikely, doesn’t it?

But wait, you might say. Jesus also told us we would face opposition in our Christian walk. Isn’t this normal for a Christian? Shouldn’t our children learn early to be strong in their faith and be salt and light to those around them?

Jesus' Choice for Missionaries 

Consider this. Jesus sent out missionaries to be witnesses for Him while He was here on earth. His choice of witnesses is very interesting. First of all, He didn’t even send them out until He had spent a great deal of personal time teaching them every day - for years. Secondly, He sent them out in pairs – not by themselves. And thirdly, He chose grown men. This was not cultural. Jesus repeatedly broke cultural barriers concerning women and children. This was Jesus’ purposeful plan to send out missionaries who were strong in the faith and could hold their own against the violent opposition of the world.

Who Do We Choose for Missionaries? 

Now think about this. Muslims who follow the Koran believe that the infidel must be killed. And we have seen with horror that in some countries, those Muslims actually use children to accomplish this task. The children usually die in the process, thus provoking us to rightly condemn the grown men who would send a child to do their violent job.

But are we Christians any different? We believe that the “infidel” or unbeliever should be evangelized, not killed. This is good and scriptural. But why do we send our children out to do our work of evangelization? They, too, often suffer great casualties in the process. Recent studies and books have noted that children from Christian families are leaving the church in droves when they reach adult age. Perhaps this is because we send them out to fight a battle they are not prepared for?

Nurturing Children in the Faith 

The Bible says that even Jesus was careful not to break the “bruised reeds” or snuff out the “smoldering flax.” (Matthew 12:20) Young people in general and young Christians in particular need nurturing and strengthening, not grueling opposition every single day from those who are their friends. God in His providence sometimes allows this to happen to young Christians. But we should be very cautious about taking such a burden onto our own consciences.

Evangelizing the world is a good thing. We should teach our children to do so. But while they are young, they should be accompanied by parents who are strong in the faith and can support and encourage them in the process.

Forcing a child every day to a place where he must stand alone against ranks of those who would tear down his faith is putting a child in a place where he is pushed to sin. Rather than smugly enjoying the fact that we’ve sent our children out to be salt and light, perhaps we should instead be on our knees repenting for actions that merit millstones around our necks.

How To Seek Approval

If there’s one thing that parents, teachers and child workers drum into kids’ heads more than another, it’s that they should not be addicted to peer approval.

“Don’t follow the crowd in doing wrong.”
“Just because your friends are doing it doesn’t mean you should do it.”
“Go against the flow.”
“Stand your ground.”

It’s good to teach your children to stick to the right principles, regardless of whether their peers are doing so. But I would like to address a common misconception that goes along with this. I want to challenge the assumption that seeking approval from others is bad.

I’ve actually heard people say this: “You shouldn’t need the approval of others.” I disagree. I think that God made us to need approval, to need outside validation of our actions. The problem is not with needing this validation – the problem is that we seek the validation from the wrong people.

We need to create an “approval network” around us that will give us acceptance and encouragement in godly living.

We are first and foremost created to need the approval of God. God created us to be in fellowship with Him, and we find our true satisfaction and fulfillment in life when we know we have His approval. Of course, we can’t earn that approval on our own because we are sinful. That’s why the gift of Jesus’ atonement on the cross is so valuable. When we accept Christ’s atonement, our sins are forgiven and canceled out but even more, we can be brought into sweet fellowship with our Creator once again. As we daily try to live as the Bible teaches, we find our lives full of the strength of character that comes from knowing God has accepted us. After all, when God is for us, what can it matter who is against us? (see Romans 8) God must be the primary Person in our “approval network.”

But God also created us to enjoy fellowship with other people. The only thing that God said was “not good” about creation in the Genesis account was that Adam was “alone.” And God remedied the problem by providing Adam with another person to fellowship with: Eve. He told Adam and Eve to procreate and bring more people into the world. We are created for friendship with others.

Knowing this, we must choose wisely when we form the friendships that will fill in our earthly “approval network.” Think about the people you value and respect, the ones you seek out for fun outings, the ones you can relax around. Are they the kind of people who will validate and approve your wise choices? Will they have the courage to question you when you make unwise choices? Are their own life choices ones that show character and wisdom? Since our close friends are the people we naturally seek acceptance from, we should choose friends that will support us in living right.

This is why it is important to be in a good church body. I know that some people feel that there’s no point in attending weekly church services. But a good church body can be part of your approval network. They can be part of the team that cheers you on to live biblically, and they can also help pull you back from making unwise choices. If there is no church body in your life providing an approval network, this leaves a vacuum that is often filled by more worldly friends.

Homeschooling is a good way to help your children build the right approval network. It’s tough for an adult to have the strength of character to go against the flow of everyone around him, every day. It’s even harder for a child or teen to do so. We are not created to function well when we’re constantly fighting against the current of every person we’re around all day. That’s stressful, emotionally tiring, and wearying. There are times in life when this can happen and God gives us extra grace for those times. But it’s not a situation one should seek out.

Homeschooling surrounds your children with your handpicked approval network as they learn to make godly choices in life. God says that foolishness comes naturally to children (Proverbs 22:15). When your child’s closest friends are immature kids at school, they can be a drag on his or her desire to live biblically. Your child will find himself either constantly fighting his God-given desire for peer approval, or he will give in and be as foolish as his fellow peers at school. Neither choice is healthy.

It is much easier to “go against the flow” of worldliness in our culture when we have a godly team cheering us on. A family and a church body provide that team. Instead of teaching our children that seeking outside acceptance is bad, teach them to seek it from the right places. Their approval network should first be God and next be wise people who will cheer them on to do the right thing.

Written by Heather Sheen