None of Their Business

With the advent of social media, we are all encouraged to share every moment of our lives online with our friends. What we’re doing, what we’re feeling, what we’re eating, where we are, who we’re with, what we think about certain issues - this is the standard content of posts on social media. Sometimes, however, in the enjoyment of communicating our daily lives, we forget that occasionally people we don’t know very well are reading what we post. Depending on where we post (say, in a homeschool Facebook group), we may even be sharing with strangers.

As a friendly reminder, it is unsafe to assume that distant acquaintances and strangers online are automatically friendly to our ideas and lifestyle. For the safety of your children, it is important to remember that matters pertaining to your child’s health, lifestyle and upbringing should be generally kept private online. There are many well-meaning people who will not hesitate to meddle and cause trouble for you if they believe you are making the wrong decision in one of these areas.

Following are some specific areas to be cautious about sharing with people we don’t know very well online.

Medical Opinions
There is a divide right now between people who favor traditional medicine and those who prefer a more natural approach. For example, vaccinations are currently a heated topic. Some people consider vaccinating to be extremely unsafe; others consider not vaccinating to be extremely unsafe. While it’s fine for you to express your opinion online, it is not the business of friends, acquaintances, or strangers on social media what you personally have chosen to do with your own children. Your child’s medical history should be private. If you really want to weigh in on the conversation, link to articles and sources that prove your point, instead of announcing which vaccines your child has or has not received. The same holds true when discussing other controversial medical topics.

Medical Problems
Along these lines, your child’s medical problems and course of treatment are also not matters for public discussion. Can you post a photo of your son or daughter with their ankle in a cast after a painful collision on the soccer field? Sure. But the details of the treatment and healing process are not the concern of others. Additionally, be careful of posting a photo of your child’s medical condition (a burn, an infection, etc.) and asking for medical advice from people online. If you fail to follow someone’s advice (however erroneous) and they believe you are not taking the problem seriously enough, they may consider reporting you to authorities. Ask questions privately of trusted friends instead of posting photos publicly for everyone to see.

Lifestyle Choices
One woman I know of likes to post a photo nearly every day of her little children eating lunch. She details the menu, which is inevitably unhealthy and unbalanced, and shares the photo and the meal description in a Facebook group that has over 10,000 members. While everyone likes to share their occasional “Pinterest Success” meal photos on Facebook, your child’s day-to-day menu is simply not the business of strangers online. If a disgruntled group member became offended with this woman and decided to make trouble, they could spread nasty rumors that she is a bad parent who feeds her children poorly and possibly even turn her in to social services. Your lifestyle is your own business. Your housekeeping practices, daily schedule, daily menu, and other areas pertaining to everyday living are not the concern of the public, so don’t share them online.

Parenting Practices
In an effort to offer advice, parents will sometimes post about how they handle their child’s shortcomings. This is not necessarily bad, but keep the details vague. Your child does not need to have all of his deficiencies aired publicly and permanently to the online world. Nor do you need to announce the details of your parenting practices to a critical public. What goes on in your house is between you and your family only. It is one thing to say that when your child was routinely procrastinating on his chores, you curtailed some privileges. It is another to recount the situation in explicit detail and open you or your child up to criticism from people who are not involved in the situation. If you really think the person you’re advising would benefit from hearing more detail, send them a private message instead of posting publicly.

On the flip side, if you are the person asking for advice, ask judiciously. If you need to ask how others dealt with the habit of procrastination in their kids, that’s fine. But you don’t need to give several paragraphs of examples of your own child’s bad behavior. Among other things, keep in mind the possibility that your children may see these posts someday and fiercely resent you airing their personal delinquencies to the public.

Sharing our lives online is fun, but it is important to be cautious when it concerns your children. When in doubt, don’t post it. Your family’s business is your family’s business, not the business of friends, acquaintances or random strangers online!

You Give Them Something

"Jesus replied, ‘They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.’” (Matthew 14:16)

“Jim is so talented in music, we just had to send him to school to let him get professional teachers and orchestra experience.”

“Ann needs more help in chemistry and physics than we can give her. So she’s finishing high school in the public school.”

“Linda really needs a better social experience – she’s an only child, you know. So we’re sending her to a good Christian school this year.”

“We can’t afford to homeschool any more – we both have to work.”

Perhaps you have heard, or made, these remarks. In a time when homeschooling is legal and easy to do (unlike several decades ago), many homeschoolers consider it merely one option among several. And if there seems to be a limit to what parents can do in their homeschool, they immediately look for another option.

But if we Christians really believe that God has told us to teach our children day in and day out (Deuteronomy 6), then we can believe that God will make us able to do so.

I was recently reading the passage in Scripture where Jesus fed the five thousand men and their families. I noticed an interesting fact. Jesus told the disciples to feed the people. He knew that they couldn’t – not with what they had. But he told them to anyway.

The disciples immediately brought up their obvious inadequacy to do so. “‘We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,’ they answered.” (Matthew 14:17) Whereupon Jesus performed the miracle of dividing the loaves and fishes, then gave them to the disciples to feed to the people.

Don’t we often act like the disciples? In homeschooling and in other tasks God has given us to do, we receive the Lord’s commands and then immediately point out why we are unable to obey them. Seriously?!  We are serving a God Who thinks nothing of dividing five loaves of bread and two fish to feed thousands of people! God divided the Red Sea so His people could cross. God made the earth stand still while His people defeated the enemy. Why do we doubt that He can and will help us obey His commands about raising our children?

Sometimes the obstacles God gives us are simply there to test our faith. As soon as we begin to pray and trust God to help us, He removes the obstacles or helps us find a way around them.

Sometimes the “obstacles” are really of our own making. Who said children need “socialization” with other children in order to be well-adjusted people? That’s not in the Bible, nor does everyday experience support that idea. Who said an institution is the only place to get a professional tutor? There are many people available who will tutor your child in almost any subject imaginable in your own home, and the internet is loaded with helpful free videos. Why do you need two incomes? Perhaps there are a lot of non-essential items that can be cut from the budget – or perhaps Dad can take a second job on the side instead of putting Mom to work. Often the solution to our “obstacles” is to simply evaluate whether they are really obstacles or only our own paradigms of reality.

We serve a mighty God who controls the winds and waves, not to mention homeschools. God in His wisdom has chosen to use us to implement His plans. Often He does not take the loaves and fishes and say, “Let me take care of this.” Instead, He says, “You give them something to eat.” And then He multiplies them for us!

Written by Heather Sheen

Breeding the Entitlement Mentality at Home?

A common complaint that conservatives have about my generation and younger is that we have the "Entitlement Mentality." We vote for candidates who promise us "free" stuff (funded by the taxpayers, of course).  We get angry if a boss criticizes us (or even fires us!) for sloppy work. We appear to feel that society owes us whatever we want. 

The parents of this "entitlement" generation are blinking in astonishment. After all, we "entitled" 20- and 30-somethings were raised by parents who still had a sense of personal responsibility. Our parents worked for their living, saved money, and went without if they couldn’t afford something. They didn’t dream of demanding that the government fund the solutions to their problems. So what went wrong? Somewhere between my parents’ generation and my generation, there was a disconnect.

The Disconnect

Unfortunately, I see that disconnect continuing to happening not only in secular culture but also in conservative Christian families. We say that God requires personal responsibility for our actions, but we teach our kids a very different story. In a multitude of daily decisions, we too are raising our kids with the Entitlement Mentality. I see four areas in particular where this Entitlement Mentality is being inculcated.

You deserve to have fun – There's no problem with parents wanting their kids’ childhood to be pleasant. Kids have a large capacity for fun and enjoyment that will naturally diminish as they grow up and face the trials of adult life. But many parents seem to believe that their children deserve to have fun all the time. I see many foolish decisions made by moms and dads because they don’t want to curtail Johnny or Susie’s fun.

Chores, disappointments, working for what you want – these are all things that children will face in adulthood. Therefore they need training early in life to help teach perseverance and responsibility. None of that is much fun. But one way to avoid breeding the Entitlement Mentality is to teach your children that life is not merely about having fun. It’s not even about “following your dreams” (where is that in the Bible?).  It’s about joyfully working for God’s glory on the mundane tasks He gives you each day.

If we don’t teach this, it’s easy for those fun-expecting children to grow up into adults who see nothing wrong with wasting their lives in idleness, blowing their money unwisely, engaging in sexual promiscuity, or worse things, in the name of "fun."

You deserve to have everything paid for – I am often amazed at the expensive and unnecessary items that parents will buy for their children – even older children. Yes, it is a parent’s delight and privilege to buy wonderful gifts as well as daily necessities for his child. But when it comes to also funding your child’s car, college education, trip overseas, high-tech phone, expensive gaming system, and a closet-full of name-brand clothing, I can’t help thinking how much more they would appreciate those things if they were required to work for them themselves. 

You may point out that the cost of these items – especially vehicles and college education – is prohibitively expensive these days. To which I would point out that nowhere are we entitled to a top-of-the-line car or a name-brand education. There are creative ways to take care of big-ticket items in your life without paying top dollar and expecting Mom and Dad to fund most (or all) of it.

If kids are not taught to contribute to their own needs, it is too easy to grow up into adults with the Entitlement Mentality who expect society to pick up the tab for their own fiscal irresponsibility – just like their parents did when they were children.

You deserve to have your parents pick up the pieces – It is often frustrating to watch a young person take on a project and, instead of having the chance to learn from their own mistakes, his parents jump in and smooth over all the difficulties on his behalf. Your child decides to raise money for a cause, but you wind up doing most of the grunt work in collecting donations. Your child decides to start a small business, but you are the one who constantly nags him about deadlines and fulfilling orders. Your child is assigned a project by you, a tutor, or a boss, and you are the one who sits up late the night before getting it done. 

All of us need a helping hand occasionally, but a parent who never gives his child a chance to fail is breeding the Entitlement Mentality. These children grow up into adults with an Entitlement Mentality who think that government bailouts and subsidies are the norm, and free healthcare, unemployment compensation or job creation is simply owed them by society.

You deserve to be forgiven – No matter how stupid, obnoxious, or downright sinful a person is these days, the cultural mantra is "tolerance." The Christian version of "tolerance" is "forgiveness." We tell kids to just "come as you are," that we won’t be "judgmental," that we just want to "love on them." There’s nothing inherently wrong with these ideas as long as they are balanced with the biblical idea of consequences for wrongdoing. The story of the Gospel starts with judgment before it ends with grace.

God has said some things are objectively wrong, and that He will bring judgment on those things in the form of negative consequences. When a child is instead taught that Mom and Dad will let him get away with everything and just "forgive" no matter what, he forms the Entitlement Mentality towards sin: God (and everybody else) owes me love and forgiveness. This is a form of the Entitlement Mentality that can have awful eternal consequences, not to mention negative consequences in this life.

Though Christians are certainly required to forgive those who wrong us, society as a whole is never required by God to ignore sin in the name of being "non-judgmental." We do our children a grave disservice if we teach them that their sins and mistakes will simply be overlooked in the name of love. True love helps a sinner repent from his sin and learn to live righteously.

If you are upset at the Entitlement Mentality we see around us, you're not alone. But we need to be careful not to have a shallow perspective of the problem. It’s too easy to simply say that if "those people" would just pull their pants up and get a job, we could go back to a godly society.

The root problem is deeper than that. It’s in how we raise our own children to be citizens of both an earthly and a heavenly society. None of us are born with entitlements to have everything fun, free, and forgiven. We are all sinners who are debtors to God's grace. 

Should Children Be Our Evangelists?

But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. (Matthew 18:6)

These are pretty strong words from Jesus about causing children to sin. Some people interpret this verse to mean actual children, and others say it means those who are children in the faith – new believers. Either way, I think we would all agree that purposely placing such vulnerable people in the path of sin is a wrong thing to do.

But I wonder if we don’t slip up in this area without realizing it? I considered this subject one Sunday as the pastor was preaching about staying true to the faith. He mentioned that children especially are in the “danger zone” at school. Most of their peers are either non-Christians or immature Christians who are hardly the best people to encourage someone in their walk of faith. Those peers are more likely to discourage the Christian child from following Christ. Have you ever heard a gaggle of kids or teens talking and then one of them say, “Hey, we should stop talking like this. It’s gossip and it’s not right.” Or how about this scenario – “Wait guys, we shouldn’t do that because our parents told us not to and we should respect our parents.” Sounds a little unlikely, doesn’t it?

But wait, you might say. Jesus also told us we would face opposition in our Christian walk. Isn’t this normal for a Christian? Shouldn’t our children learn early to be strong in their faith and be salt and light to those around them?

Jesus' Choice for Missionaries 

Consider this. Jesus sent out missionaries to be witnesses for Him while He was here on earth. His choice of witnesses is very interesting. First of all, He didn’t even send them out until He had spent a great deal of personal time teaching them every day - for years. Secondly, He sent them out in pairs – not by themselves. And thirdly, He chose grown men. This was not cultural. Jesus repeatedly broke cultural barriers concerning women and children. This was Jesus’ purposeful plan to send out missionaries who were strong in the faith and could hold their own against the violent opposition of the world.

Who Do We Choose for Missionaries? 

Now think about this. Muslims who follow the Koran believe that the infidel must be killed. And we have seen with horror that in some countries, those Muslims actually use children to accomplish this task. The children usually die in the process, thus provoking us to rightly condemn the grown men who would send a child to do their violent job.

But are we Christians any different? We believe that the “infidel” or unbeliever should be evangelized, not killed. This is good and scriptural. But why do we send our children out to do our work of evangelization? They, too, often suffer great casualties in the process. Recent studies and books have noted that children from Christian families are leaving the church in droves when they reach adult age. Perhaps this is because we send them out to fight a battle they are not prepared for?

Nurturing Children in the Faith 

The Bible says that even Jesus was careful not to break the “bruised reeds” or snuff out the “smoldering flax.” (Matthew 12:20) Young people in general and young Christians in particular need nurturing and strengthening, not grueling opposition every single day from those who are their friends. God in His providence sometimes allows this to happen to young Christians. But we should be very cautious about taking such a burden onto our own consciences.

Evangelizing the world is a good thing. We should teach our children to do so. But while they are young, they should be accompanied by parents who are strong in the faith and can support and encourage them in the process.

Forcing a child every day to a place where he must stand alone against ranks of those who would tear down his faith is putting a child in a place where he is pushed to sin. Rather than smugly enjoying the fact that we’ve sent our children out to be salt and light, perhaps we should instead be on our knees repenting for actions that merit millstones around our necks.

Consulting the Dead

"When men tell you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living? To the law and to the testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, they have no light of dawn." - Isaiah 8:19-20 (NIV 1984)

The pagan experts of Isaiah’s day were the mediums and spiritists. These people supposedly predicted the future. They claimed to have deeper understanding of the present. If a pagan needed wisdom for a decision or insight on an issue, he consulted a medium or spiritist.

The problem was that God’s people started doing the same thing. Isaiah rebukes them with divinely inspired succinctness. "Why consult the dead on behalf of the living? To the law and to the testimony!" The Israelites had the written Word of the God of the universe. There was no need to go to pagans for "wisdom."

Do we ever do the same thing? Do Christian homeschoolers ever fall into the trap of consulting spiritually dead pagans instead of God’s Word for wisdom in raising their children? Naw, certainly not us!

Have you ever refrained from correcting your child’s erroneous views because you didn’t want to damage his self-esteem? Where did that idea come from? Not God’s Word! God tells us to train and discipline the foolishness out of our children. Self worth should be derived from how God sees us, not from how indulged we are by others. No, guarding a child’s self-esteem to the detriment of forming his character is a pagan idea. Since unbelievers have rejected God, they only have themselves left to worship. Hence, self-esteem becomes very important to a pagan.

Did you ever let your children go to foolish or silly youth events to get some "socialization?" Who gave us that idea? The pagans! Children are basically good, they reason, and they need to be around other children to be "properly" socialized. The Bible, however, declares that "he who walks with the wise grows wise but a companion of fools suffers harm." (Proverbs 13:20) It also tells us that "foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child." (Proverbs 22:15) Should foolish, young children hang around often with other foolish, young children? You draw the conclusion!

Maybe you feel that since your children are receiving such a superior education at home, they are qualified to make most of their own decisions themselves. After all, it’s easier for you that way, and they seem pretty responsible kids. I’ve seen many parents allow their children too much autonomy in decision-making and then bewail the stupid decisions their kids make. Why? The Bible tells us that children think, act and reason like... children! (I Corinthians 13:11) It is therefore futile to expect children to always act like little adults — or to give them the responsibility of adults. But the pagans would have us believe that since man is basically good (remember that?) children should be allowed to "express themselves" however they please.

Unfortunately, one of the biggest pagan ideas Christian parents often embrace is that children should be educated by "experts," not their parents. I challenge those parents to search their Bible to find one Scripture out of the multitude concerning child-raising that tells anyone besides parents to train and disciple their children.

The Bible is a marvelous book, full of wisdom, instruction and insight — straight from the mouth of God! Why do we Christians run after the teachings and opinions of spiritually dead philosophers, experts and professors? "If they do not speak according to this word, they have no light of dawn." We must compare everything to God’s Word.

"Why consult the dead on behalf of the living? To the law and to the testimony!"

Written by Heather Sheen

Homeschooling: Not My Gift?

I was chatting with Kristina, a bright, creative, and very capable young mother. We hadn’t seen each other in awhile so she was updating me on her family. Her oldest child, she told me, would be starting kindergarten at a wonderful Christian school this year. “I’m not going to homeschool,” she said hastily. “I mean - trying to keep up with all the little ones at once and teach too…that’s just not my gift.”

Are you like Kristina? Have you decided against homeschooling because you feel that you lack the skill and ability to do it? Is homeschooling outside your comfort zone? Does it seem difficult, frightening, or overwhelming? Does it just seem like it's not your gift?

These are understandable fears and feelings. However, they bear investigating. There are three problems with the “not my gift” perspective.

1. First, most parents are far more gifted than they think they are. If I were to list the “most likely to succeed” candidates for Homeschool Mom, Kristina would be near the top of the list. Kristina is very talented and has done a terrific job teaching her children life skills already. The notion that her ability suddenly stops when it comes to teaching her child his ABCs or the multiplication tables is simply untrue. Kristina should look back on what she has already done and pluck up confidence! I have often been pleasantly surprised to find that I could actually do things I thought I had no talent for if I had a little guidance and persevered. We can learn to do things that at the moment seem overwhelming.

2. Second, usually false assumptions are hiding behind the “not my gift” argument. Kristina set up an untrue either/or situation in her mind. EITHER she would homeschool and it would be impossible to help the eldest with school work because of the demands of the younger children, OR her eldest would go to an institutional school and everything would be easy. 

Scenario One is stressful and Scenario Two is a breeze. Is that really the case? Isn’t she reckoning without needing to help her eldest with homework, making sure that he is all packed each morning, trying to get him fed and dressed and out the door on time in between the others clamoring for attention, and so forth? And if we want to talk about stress, isn’t Kristina reckoning without school politics, demanding school schedules, her child being picked on or having his feelings hurt by other students, and teachers who don’t understand her child as well as she does? There are plenty of stressors in an institutional setting.

Yes, to Kristina’s point, doing school work with just one child while the other children want attention too might be challenging. But it’s certainly manageable. Millions—literally millions—of mothers all through history have made it work. 

Whether it is doing school with the eldest while the younger children nap, or having special “school time only” coloring books to keep the little ones busy, there are a variety of options to make it happen. But remember, if you send your child to a public or private school, you will still have to spend routine one-on-one time with them helping them with school assignments. Since it is going to happen regardless, wouldn’t you rather be the one in charge? Wouldn’t you rather be the one in choosing the curriculum, setting the schedule, and establishing the routine?

3. The third problem with the “not my gift” concept is that it is a faulty way to plan our lives because it places the emphasis on our talents, not our duties. When we approach a situation, we need to look honestly at what we are called to do, not what our “gifts” are. 

The fact is, a “gift” simply means something comes naturally to you. If you don’t have a “gift” for something, does that mean you don’t have to bother trying? Of course not. It simply means that you have to seek extra guidance, pray diligently, and keep persevering. 

What if it’s not our “gift” to keep our tempers? What if it’s not our “gift” to follow a budget? What if it’s not our “gift” to drive at a safe speed? What if it’s not our “gift” to forgive someone who hurts our feelings? Does that mean we can say, “Oh well, too bad, these aren’t my gifts”? Of course not. If they are a duty, we should say, “Since these are not my gifts, I need to work extra hard to get better at them.”

Let’s say that you think homeschooling isn’t your gift. Is that really the question you should be concerned about? No. Instead parents should explore what the Bible says about parental discipleship and decide which method of schooling allows them to best train their children in life and godliness. 

Institutional schooling can rarely compete with the benefits of one-on-one tutoring and the wholesome, Christ-centered learning environment of the home. Your personal giftedness is frankly irrelevant to the question. But the good news is that you can learn and you will learn! God is on your side and will not fail you! 

Remember, God never says that His power is made perfect in our giftedness. His power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) You’re not going to do this alone. He is going to empower you every step of the way. 

Not your gift, eh? It doesn’t matter. You can do it anyway!

Written by Raquelle Sheen

The Darker the Night, the Brighter the Light

It’s been a rough time for Christian conservatives lately. From the Supreme Court’s ruling on homosexual marriage to the shooting in Charleston to the banning in some places of the Confederate flag, conservative culture has been under attack. It can be a discouraging time for godly families.

What kind of world will your children grow up in? What can one family do to counteract the paganism and anti-Christianity that seems to be gaining ground all around us? It can feel like we are fighting a losing battle.

Lately, however, I have found good grounds for encouragement. The Lord has been showing me how we may be facing one of the best opportunities in generations to share the gospel in our nation. Here are some thoughts you may find uplifting.

We Are On the Winning Side

If you’ve read Revelation, you know how the story ends. God wins! Actually, if you read the whole Bible you realize that God is controlling and ordaining everything that happens and using it for our good and His glory. God controls history.

Time after time in history, ungodly people have tried to thwart God’s will. We see it from Joseph’s brothers selling him into slavery out of jealousy, to King Nebuchadnezzer trying to stamp out all worship except that of himself. Time after time God not only turns the battle into a victory, He actually uses the activities of the pagans to bring even more glory to Himself. We need have no fear that God is overwhelmed or caught off guard by what is happening in our culture. He knew it and planned it before time began. His side will win, regardless of the way things look from our perspective.

It’s Been Worse Before

A quick look at history will reveal that, rough as these times are for Christians, there have been far rougher times for Christians in the past. And even now life is far worse for Christians in other nations. At first that may not seem encouraging until you realize that out of the darkness and paganism of past history, God has brought the light of His gospel to every corner of the globe.

For instance, out of the terrible persecution of the Reformers came the Protestant church, the Bible in the common people’s language, and missionaries who evangelized the world – including the American continent. God has used – and continues to use – hard times to refine His people and make them into a brighter light to the dark world.

God Asks for Faithfulness, Not Results

God doesn’t give us a “quota” of converts we must make. He doesn’t give us a list of laws we must pass or cultural standards we must implement. Instead, He tells us to be faithful to His Word. When we repent of our own sin and strive to be holy, there are natural cultural changes that occur in our lives. When we “preach the gospel” to others, “making disciples” of them, there are natural cultural changes that will occur in their lives too. The more we are faithful to apply the gospel truth to our lives and share it with others, the more the culture will change on its own into a godly society. It starts with one person at a time being faithful.

The Darker the Night, the Brighter the Light

Have you ever lit a candle during the daytime? It can be difficult to even see the flame unless you’re close to it. But contrast that with lighting a candle in the night. You can surely see the light in that situation!

I’ve talked to many people who remember the “good old days” when everybody was nice and decent (supposedly). But that feel-good culture of the past evidently was only skin-deep as the children and grand-children of that generation went on to create an ever more rebellious society. I can’t help but wonder if the “candle” of past Christianity blended in too much with the “decent” culture of the times. “Cultural Christianity” sometimes makes it hard to witness to people who figure they are already decent enough to make it to heaven on their own, and perhaps it was no different in the “good old days.”

Today, there is less confusion on that score. It’s getting to be pretty clear who is a Christian and who isn’t, who lives by biblical cultural standards and who doesn’t. The “candle” of Christianity is shining ever brighter in the darkness of our current societal paganism. Someone who has wrecked their life with sin is far more ready to hear and accept the gospel than someone who has always lived a “decent” life and has it all together.

In closing, remember this famous passage from 2 Chronicles 7:14. Note that in order to heal a nation, God does not give us intricate formulas for elections or lists of laws to pass or quotas for church membership. Instead, He simply calls His people to be faithful in their own personal lives. God moves mightily in the prayers and obedience of Christians.

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Written by Heather Sheen

Who’s Really Building the House?

King David got a great idea one day. He looked around at his luxurious palace and compared it to the tent that the Ark of the Covenant reposed in. The contrast jarred him. He told Nathan the prophet, "Here I am, living in a palace of cedar, while the ark of God remains in a tent." (1 Samuel 7:2). He was disturbed. He wanted to honor God and create a permanent tribute to the Lord Almighty. He wanted to build God a house.

Maybe you feel like David. You want to honor God too. God has blessed you and you want to build a permanent tribute to the Lord through your own service. You want to build God a house.

What does this “house” look like? Maybe it means you want to raise a big family of God-fearing children who will be mighty for the kingdom. Maybe, as a homeschooler, you want to start some sort of ministry to strengthen other homeschoolers as they disciple their children. Perhaps there’s a fantastic Christian organization your family wants to work with and thereby reach many people for Christ. Or maybe you simply want to be so much like Christ that your life and testimony speaks volumes for Him. Whatever it is, deep down there is something you are passionate about that you want to do to “build a house” for God.

God commended David for his desire. He told David, “Because it was in your heart to build a temple for my Name, you did well to have this in your heart.” (2 Chronicles 6:8). Likewise, God is pleased when we want to honor Him and spend ourselves in His service. We do well to have these kinds of desires in our heart.

But then what happened? God chose not to have David built the temple. He told David, “You have shed much blood and have fought many wars. You are not to build a house for my Name, because you have shed much blood on the earth in my sight.” (1 Chronicles 22:8)

Sometimes God chooses not to let our desires on His behalf be carried out either. Maybe God has chosen not to let you have as many children as you’d like. Instead of the small army of godly offspring that you wanted to raise for Him you have just one or two children. Maybe the homeschool ministry you tried to start has petered out for lack of interest from others. Perhaps health problems or unexpected responsibilities prevent you from working with that fabulous Christian organization you wanted to be a part of. Or maybe you find that, despite your best efforts to be a good testimony, your sinful self gets in the way over and over and you always seem to muff the job.

Of course, at this point we have to remember that God is God. While He is pleased with us when we want to do great things for Him, sometimes He has other plans for us. Sometimes He prevents us from carrying out our desires the way we’d like.

However, this does not mean God won’t use us. Just because God doesn’t always choose to have us carry out our Plan A does not mean He won’t use us just as effectively for Plan B. David didn’t build the temple. But he did provide a huge helping hand to Solomon. We learn in 1 Chronicles 22:5: David said, "My son Solomon is young and inexperienced, and the house to be built for the LORD should be of great magnificence and fame and splendor in the sight of all the nations. Therefore I will make preparations for it." So David made extensive preparations before his death.

Have you stopped to think about the ways you can serve right now, in spite of being thwarted in your initial desires? Maybe the fact that you have just a few children instead of a dozen means that you can open your home more often to others. Maybe the time you would have spent on that homeschool ministry you wanted to start is being spent caring for an aging relative instead. Maybe the fact that you’ve stumbled so often as you strive to be a good testimony gives you a perspective that allows you to extend grace and encourage others who face the same problems. I could go on, but you get the point.

One other thing stands out in this whole story with David. Sometimes we miss it because we get so focused on David’s good desire and how God shut the door on it. However, if we keep reading, God’s incredible love shines forth. God essentially told David, “You wanted to build me a house. That’s great. But instead, here’s what’s going to happen: I’M going to build YOU a house.” We read, “The LORD declares to you that the LORD himself will establish a house for you: When your days are over and you rest with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, who will come from your own body, and I will establish his kingdom.” (2 Samuel 7:11-12)

Haven’t you seen this in your life over and over? I know I have. We come to God with our Big Ideas to serve Him. Sometimes God says no to those Big Ideas. Then He takes that “no” and turns around and eventually blesses the socks off of us in ways we can’t even imagine. He “builds us a house.” It may not always be at the time or place that we expect. Sometimes the results of our labor may not even come fully to fruition in our lifetime. But God does not forget. In His faithful timing, He overlooks our unworthiness, turning our godly desires and faltering efforts into something that does in fact glorify Him. So be encouraged, friends! Maybe you can’t build that temple you wanted to build. But that’s okay. If you love God and seek to serve Him, He will use you anyway. And, in the love and mercy that so characterizes our Lord, He will build a house for you.

Written by Raquelle Sheen

Home-Centered Summer Activities

Ahhh, summer time! Warm sunny days…drinking iced tea…family vacations…what’s not to like? But perhaps that’s not your vision of summer at all. Maybe your family summer means bored, grumpy children. Maybe it means thousands of extra activities. Maybe it means an exhausting family vacation from which you have to take another vacation to recover! If any of these visions match your family, read on!

Summer is the perfect time to focus on family-centered activities that you might not have time for during the regular school year. Without the distraction of academics, you can work on craft projects, home businesses, and fun activities. It’s a great time to teach some special skills to your children as well as build some memories for a lifetime. Here are some ideas and tips to consider.

Take control of your schedule now. It’s too easy in the summer to think, “Oh, school’s out so of course we have time for that activity!” Next thing you know, your family is over-committed and exhausted. Don’t let that happen this summer. Make a calendar, decide how many outside activities you will do and stick to it. Schedule in days that are free of outside activities. Plan not only your vacation(s), but also plan in days before and after to pack up and recover. This will allow you more freedom to consider some of the family-building activities below.

Try a home business. What better way to teach your children skills like balancing a bank account, maintaining a schedule, working on a budget, and customer service skills? The possibilities are endless, as you consider what would work best for your family. There are businesses that even small children can help with and businesses that require a high school student’s abilities. Dog sitting, yard work, baking, and music teaching are easy businesses to start. If you prefer something more in-depth, you can try a multi-level marketing company such as Pampered Chef or Mary Kay products. Look at what your child’s interests and abilities are and help him or her come up with a way to market those skills.

Read aloud together. Some of my best childhood memories are centered around our family’s read-aloud times. Studies show that parents who read aloud to their children help develop their children’s reading skills. And when your children get to read aloud to you, they can be motivated to become better readers. Let each person pick a book to read aloud and take turns. This isn’t a time for criticism (other than maybe occasional help in pronouncing a word), but rather just for fun. Help your children associate reading with fun family time. It may be too hard for the people not reading to sit still, so come up with some quiet handwork to be done during the read-aloud time – puzzles, sewing, crocheting, drawing, wood carving, legos, tinker toys, etc.

Check out some nearby educational sites. Rather than waiting for someone to organize a field trip during the school year, take your kids this summer! Museums, battlefields, zoos, nature trails, you name it. Pack a picnic lunch if you want to save some money and eat at a nearby park. When you visit these places as a family rather than in a big group, you have the opportunity to go more slowly and focus on what your children are interested in.

Learn a new skill as a family. Take lessons together and encourage each other as you learn. This could be anything from sewing to singing to rocket-building! Get books on the subject, read about it online, go to some classes. Let your children see that you’re interested in learning too, and they will be encouraged to learn more themselves. And who knows, this could be the start of a new favorite activity. (This is how my sister and I wound up becoming professional harpists, by the way!)

Complete a big home project. Clean out the garage. Paint the living room. Plant a garden. Remodel a bathroom. Get your kids involved in these activities. Someday they will own their own homes and these skills will come in handy. Teach them how to clean properly, how to remodel, how to build, how to garden – basically, teach them good stewardship of property. They may or may not enjoy these “chores” now, but will thank you some day when they have their own homes to maintain.

Let this be a summer of fun and productive family time. I hope you enjoy your summer! 

3 Principles for Teaching Your Kids Finances

As the hot California sun streamed down, I huffed and puffed on my knees along the rock-walled flower garden. Weeding those rocks was a chore I hated. Not only was it grubby and uncomfortable, but sometimes big scary spiders were lurking in the weeds – anathema to a little 7 year old like me. (Actually, big scary spiders are still anathema to me!)

So why was I sticking with it? Because Mom and Dad promised my sister and I weekly allowances if we completed certain chores – one of them being the weeding of the rock wall.

It was so exciting when we got our allowance on Saturday (assuming the chores were satisfactorily completed). My sister and I each had a piggy bank on our dresser. Hers was a little fat pink pig and mine was a lovely green pig. The CHINK of the coins dropping in was such a satisfying sound.

Each Sunday, we felt excessively generous as we plinked our little coins into the offering plate. I can still remember the sudden grins of the deacons as they watched us importantly drop in our nickels and pennies. The story of the widow’s mite in the Bible always made me feel that God would probably do something amazing with my little ten cents – maybe save an entire continent or fund a new Bible translation or something.

And the part of our savings that we got to spend was fun too! After several weeks of savings, Mom would take us to the store to buy a toy or a candy bar with our very own money! Oh, how we agonized over those choices. After all, once our $2-$3 was gone, it would take several more weeks of chores to build up the savings again. I still have some of the little dolls and doll clothes I bought with that money. (I don’t have the candy bars any more though.)

Why do I share this story? Because learning how to manage money wisely seems to be a lost art in our culture. Parents themselves often are confused about how to properly save, spend and give. So they find it difficult to come up with a good way to teach their children these things.

While I certainly wouldn’t say that running a household’s finances is easy and simple, I am here to say that teaching good financial habits to your children can be simple. There are lots of good curricula, ideas, printables and internet blogs about how to do this. But the basic principles are free and you can easily adapt them to your own family.

Principle 1: All hard work brings a profit. 

That’s not my idea, it’s actually in the Bible. (Proverbs 14:23) Starting when they are just out of toddlerhood, all children can be taught this principle. Though contributing to the family through chores should never be completely on a mercenary basis, it is appropriate to designate certain extra chores or tasks as money-makers for your children. Since you want to teach them that shirking this work leads to no profit, it’s best to pick out some tasks that don’t absolutely have to be done every week.

Children need to learn (as do adults, and our government) that true profit only follows hard work. Get rich quick schemes rarely work long-term, as we who are older and wiser know. But the person who puts in elbow grease, who is willing to learn, who wants to improve their skills, who can take orders from a boss, who can properly complete an assigned task – that person will nearly always find a way to make money. Teach this principle with age-appropriate tasks you are willing to pay for.

Principle 2: Delayed gratification now means more satisfying gratification later on. 

Or in other words, saving money today means you can buy something really cool tomorrow. Helping your children learn to save up for things they want is an excellent way to counteract our instant "microwave" culture. Children today are so used to having everything NOW that parents often have to actively find ways to teach this principle.

Help your children choose age-appropriate goals to save for. Little kids may find it hard to save for a long time, so choose less expensive items for them. Older children and teens, however, should learn to be able to save for months (or even years) for something they really want. Mom and Dad can offer to match their savings, but Mom and Dad shouldn’t always be stepping in to make up the difference if Johnny isn’t disciplined enough to save.

Principle 3: God loves – and blesses – a cheerful giver. Help your children choose an amount to save for tithing and a place to give their tithe. Obviously the Bible instructs us to support the pastors and teachers who feed us at church each week. But you can also help your child look for other opportunities to give. Maybe they can fund their own shoebox for Operation Christmas Child, or perhaps they can purchase a toy to donate to a Toys for Tots drive. Help them learn the joy of giving, and remind them that God is blessing them by making them able to earn money.

The awesome thing about these three principles is that they don’t just apply to money. 

They apply to all of life. For instance, do you want a good relationship with another person? Put in some hard work, be willing to delay gratification, and give cheerfully – and see if that doesn’t improve any relationship out there! These are actually fundamental principles of living that bring peace, wisdom and dignity to everyone who applies them.

Make it practical: As your children learn and grow, continue to apply these principles in a practical manner. It doesn’t necessarily take a super-duper curriculum or intricate plan to teach basic finances to your kids. Simply introduce them in an age appropriate way to things like bank accounts, writing checks, making (and following!) a budget, running a small business, and generally keeping track of income and expenses. Let them see you doing these things on a regular basis as well.

 People who complain about how decadent our government or culture is often forget that “the government” and “the culture” are simply made up of people like us. We the people need to recover biblical basics like hard work, delayed gratification and cheerful giving. When we do, our culture and our government will change for the better. But it all starts with one family at a time!

Written by Heather Sheen

Marxist Homeschooling?

For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge.  Since they did not know the righteousness that comes from God and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness.  (Romans 10:2-3)

Here’s a good stuffy, scholarly-sounding quote to throw around next time you get into a discussion about Karl Marx’s theory of economics: “The relative values of commodities are, therefore, determined by the respective quantities or amounts of labor, worked up, realized, fixed in them.”  When I first read that I thought, “What the clunge does that mean?”  Upon further study, I deduced that Karl Marx believed the value of a product is determined by the amount of labor involved in producing it.  If a wooden nickel took the carpenter ten hours to make and the going rate for carpentry is $10 an hour then the wooden nickel is “worth” $100, according to Marx—no more, no less. 

Of course, Marx reckoned without reality.  In the real world, if 25 people all want a wooden nickel, and there’s only one available, those people will be willing to pay a lot more than $100 to get it.  On the other hand, if there happen to be 40 wooden nickels available and only 2 people want to buy them, the nickels may end up being sold for a lot less than $100.  A stuffy, scholarly-sounding way of saying this would be, “Value is determined by market desire.”

“Okay, so Marx’s economic system is out of touch with the real world,” you’re probably thinking. “What the clunge does that have to do with homeschooling?”  Aha, my friends, that is the question I propose to answer.

It is just slightly possible that we use the same faulty, Marxist theory when we evaluate our homeschool progress.  We might say, for instance, “I’ve put hours and hours into lesson plans, fields trips, extra curricular activities, classroom time and grading papers.  Of course we’re doing a good job homeschooling!”  But perhaps, like Marx, we’re looking at the wrong end of the equation.  The amount of time and effort does not necessarily determine the value of the end product.  Remember, we said, “Value is determined by market desire.”  In other words, how badly does anyone want the end product?

Look at any overly busy homeschooling family and you will generally find this end product: the children are often tired and cranky, academics (good old reading, writing and ‘rythmetic) is done in a sloppy, undisciplined fashion, and the kids would rather be entertained by friends, activities and movies than enjoy a quiet day at home with their family.  Is this how we are laboring for our children to turn out?  Would God be pleased with these results?  Is there a “market desire” for this end product? 

As the Apostle Paul noted, zeal is fine but you have to know what you are zealous for—the righteousness of God.  When we calculate our homeschool’s progress solely on the amount of zeal we show, rather than on whether the end product meets God’s standards, we are substituting our own idea of righteousness instead of submitting to God. 

Rather than blindly putting more man-hours (or Mom-hours!) into homeschooling to make it “worth” more, we should instead strive to make our end product—the kids—meet the “market desire,” God’s standards.  This may mean more time and effort on your part, or it may mean a different kind of time and effort.  But the amount of effort is not the standard—God’s Word is.

So, the next time you feel that you should be “doing more,” ask yourself why you feel that way.  You may have succumbed to Marxist Homeschooling! 

Boredom Is Good For You

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." This quote by Dorothy Parker says a mouthful. And it explains why our society is becoming increasingly uncurious and apathetic. We are never bored. But boredom is good for you. It’s good for your children. Your schedule should allow time, every day, for Strategic Boredom. Why? Read on!

But first, my definition of Strategic Boredom. Strategic Boredom consists in wise parents giving their children times when there is nothing pre-arranged to entertain them, including mindless, pre-fab, technological distractions.

And now for the reasons for Strategic Boredom!

Being bored forces us to think. When we are truly bored, whatever is going on around us doesn’t hold our interest. Our thoughts fly off to other things. This leads to daydreaming, planning, musing, in short – to actually using our brains. When we are fully entertained or distracted and have every minute filled with planned activities, there is little time for in-depth thinking.

Being bored gives us time to hear God. The Bible tells us that we must “be still” to hear God, that His is a “still, small voice.” When we are busy all the time, racing from one activity to another, it is tough to hear God above the cacophony. There’s a reason that Bible study time is also called “quiet time.” We must have time with no distractions to truly hear His voice.

Being bored engenders creativity. Most people hate boredom. Even lazy people still want to be entertained. So boredom causes people to find some entertainment – and this often leads to creativity! If a child has no TV, internet, video games or smartphones to play with, he has to come up with his own entertainment. Thus (after the obligatory whining which you should pleasantly and firmly cut off) he must turn to books, projects, games, something of his own invention to occupy him. Children today (even homeschooled children) very rarely have time for developing creativity because their parents never let them get bored.

Being bored creates initiative. If you allow your child to be bored occasionally instead of constantly entertaining him, he will have to come up with ideas for entertainment all by himself. Of course, a wise parent will have provided items in the house that he can latch onto for entertainment (such a books, raw materials for crafts, sports equipment, etc.). But it is up to the child to decide himself what to do about his boredom. I am often saddened by watching today’s children (even homeschooled children) when confronted with a chance to take initiative. They often simply sit back and wait for someone to tell them what to do – because that’s all they know. They have never had to exert their ingenuity to occupy their time.

Boredom can lead to fun and fascinating hobbies. During the Strategic Boredom times planned in our childhood by our wise parents, my sister and I started digging into the how-to books on the shelf. One time, we pulled out a book on crocheting. Mom had already given us yarn and taught us some basic stitches. But it was during periods of Strategic Boredom that we actually got enthused about crocheting real projects. This led to us attempting more and more complex crocheting projects as we grew older. And finally, it led to us winning “Best of Show” ribbons at one of the largest American county fairs for our crocheting! We can tell similar stories about our other many hobbies and skills (including skills we now use to support ourselves). Most of them were developed during Strategic Boredom times in our childhood.

Boredom prepares you for real life. Is there an adult in the world today who never experiences boredom? I doubt it. Perhaps it’s a routine chore every day that gets boring, or a task at work that becomes tedious. Maybe it’s a dull evening at home, or a long commute to work. Whatever the case, boredom is unavoidable and happens to everyone.

A person who has been prepared in childhood to deal properly with boredom is much safer from temptations that the person who has been constantly entertained faces. He will be less likely to give in to time-wasters like TV and endless video games or damaging activities like online porn or shopping addictions. The children trained by Strategic Boredom will have well-developed character muscles that help them take initiative, think, be creative, try new things… or simply sit still and listen to God’s voice.

But it all starts with Strategic Boredom!

Written by Heather Sheen

Itsy Bitsy Spider Crawled Up the Literature Page

As a kid, one of my favorite subjects in school was literature, partly because it was easier than algebra and partly because it was all about reading stories! However, I usually got extremely fed up with the questions at the end of each story, questions that I was presumably supposed to answer in my best scholarly manner. 

Wasn’t there a more interesting way to study literature?

Literature questions usually fell into several categories. First, there were the “duh” questions. If, hypothetically, the story had been about an itsy bitsy spider who crawled up the water spout, the “duh” question might be, “What did the itsy bitsy spider crawl up?” This sort of question, while posing as a Vastly Erudite Tool of Learning, is really just a crafty way to find out if the student actually read the story. If, for instance, I answered the question by saying that the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the straw of my frappuccino, my mother would instantly suspect something.

Then there were the “why” questions. I didn’t like those either because usually the story did not give you enough data, but expected a Highly Insightful Answer. If you were asked why the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout, you were expected to say something like, “The itsy bitsy spider was the victim of a debilitating psychiatric disorder, and due to its failure to grasp its inner sense of self and discover who it really was, it found an outlet for its internal angst by exploring new paradigms outside of its natural habitat. Therefore, unlike its peers, who were crawling around in people’s bathroom showers and scaring them half to death, this spider sought out lonely secluded spots wherein it could sort out its past without being judged and thus chose the privacy of a water spout.” Unfortunately, there is one small problem with all this. Yes, yes, one tiny infinitesimal problem: we actually don’t KNOW why the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout. Therefore, any reason we assign is pure speculation. And what’s the point of that? However, literature books are crammed full of these sorts of unanswerable speculative questions, which can be very exasperating.

And, of course, there were the “what-if” questions. What if the itsy bitsy spider hadn’t crawled up the water spout? What if the rain hadn’t washed the poor little spider out? What if the sun hadn’t come out and dried up all the rain? These kinds of questions can sound reasonably deep, but at the end of the day, they too are mere speculation. If the goal of literature is simply for students to speculate about how the story might have been different if all the pertinent facts and characters were different, why don’t we just start from scratch and ask them to write their own story?

Lastly, there are the “lessons learned” questions that give the student a chance to moralize. For instance, did the foolish spider learn his lesson about water spouts the first time? The sharp-witted student is quick to pick up on the expected answer: Alas no, as soon as the sun came out, he was right back up that spout. And like the spider, we too tend to forget consequences and make unwise mistakes when things are going right. We can all benefit from studying the hapless example of the errant arachnid. These kinds of questions aren’t too bad, but the answers are typically rather obvious and don’t require a lot of analysis.

So, you ask, since I have now thoroughly lambasted the traditional approach to literature, do I have any better ideas? Ha! Of course!

Remember, the goal of literature is to make a child think about it, analyze it, learn from it, and enjoy it, right? Well, the works I benefited from the most were not the ones where I was spoon-fed the canned types of questions listed above. Instead, they were the ones where I was told to simply write a paper about the book. The paper had only one criteria: state a thesis and support it. In other words, make a point and support that point from the story. Suddenly I had to do ALL of my own thinking. I confess I didn’t like it much at first. It was open-ended! There were no tidy instructions to follow! I could write about anything? I could make any point I wanted? Yikes! Let’s see...should I write about how the spider was indefatigable and persevered despite being rained out the first time? Should I argue that spiders have no business crawling up water spouts and he deserved what he got? Should I write about how we face trials in life, but joy comes in the morning, similar to the way the sun came out and dried up the rain?

However, once I wrapped my mind around this concept, I began to enjoy it. Not only that, I actually began to think about the story and all kinds of questions about the book popped up in my mind. Was part of the story relevant to my life? If so, how? Was there a principle that was clearly displayed in the story that I could write about? Did the author do a good job of getting his point across? How did this story compare to another similar story? Were the characters good role models? What was the story’s worldview? I could work through these questions and then choose one to write about. And guess what? By the time I was finished with the paper, I had gotten far more out of the story than I would have if I’d answered the standard literature book questions.

“Now wait,” you say. “This isn’t practical. I can’t make my kids write a paper about every single literature assignment.” Why not? Not every paper has to be a long one. It could be just a few paragraphs.  Even just a few original paragraphs that a student reasons out on his own will usually make him think more than if he simply answers a few boring, speculative questions. Maybe your child isn’t much of a writer. Good, this approach can help him become one! You can now combine literature and writing assignments!

Of course, another good option is to discuss the story aloud together. We did this frequently when I was growing up as well. Bouncing opinions about books, authors, and plots off of each other helped my sister and I to learn to really think about what we were reading. We could critique and share ideas and conclusively prove that spiders have no business being within twenty yards of MY waterspouts, thankyouverymuch!

Bottom line: feel free to be creative. If your children complain about the questions they are supposed to answer with a literature assignment, tune in. See if the questions are inane. If they are, skip them. Have your children write their own thoughts and make their own points. Talk about the stories. Help them learn to think about what they're reading. 

And watch out for those spiders in the waterspouts!

Written by Raquelle Sheen